tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post1085940029163385201..comments2023-11-29T20:29:08.697-08:00Comments on I Survived My Husband's Sex Addiction!: Ask Mishka About YOUR Spouse's Sex Addiction ...Mishka_Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04112251033786344354noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-16956730617868552592013-01-16T23:43:09.275-08:002013-01-16T23:43:09.275-08:00WOW my dear!!!!!! What a story you have!!!! It t...WOW my dear!!!!!! What a story you have!!!! It took me a while to answer your comment because as you said "no answer is easy". I am so not sure where to go with this. First let me say that I am soooo sorry that you have to go through this. It sooo sucks and you truly deserve a big, huge hug for it all and I just want to say that it is sooo wonderful that you are able to be there for your grandkids ... that is amazing!!!!!<br /><br />Ok, first ... recovery is a long, hard journey but relapse does NOT have to follow him with every step. Yes, relapse can happen but he can make the CHOICE to embrace recovery and truly learn tools to help him get out of the cycle. He is wonderful when he is in recovery .. and then he CAN make that his life. I have seen soooo many men heal and completely CHANGE their lives and be the men that they want to be. They just have to make the choice. That is where the term addiction gets sticky for me ... now, I totally believe it is an addiction ... BUT, the word addiction should empower men to wake up and recognize the WHY they are doing what they are doing and therefore they can make amazing changes in their lives. The word addiction should NEVER be used as an excuse for crappy behavior. <br /><br />You said you understand it is not about what he did but his addiction ... well, it IS ALSO about what he did. It is a HUGE betrayal and lies and blah blah blah .... of course you are angry, YOU SHOULD BE!!! It is NOT OK ... even if he is an addict. He always HAS a choice, he always HAD a choice .. he just doesn't have the awareness of that. He can learn that though if he wants.<br /><br />Is he getting any help right now? Are you seeing anyone? It might be a good idea to sort through all the crap that is in your head right now.<br /><br />I am so sorry my dear that I have such crappy advice!!!!!!! I am just so not sure what the best option for you is ... you'll figure it out though. Trust your gut ... out guts usually tell us things and when we can stop, connect with it and listen ... our guts are usually pretty spot on!!!! OK, I am leaving you with a BIG HUG ! You need it!!!!!!Mishka_Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04112251033786344354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-48012264242289931062013-01-09T16:59:45.974-08:002013-01-09T16:59:45.974-08:00I have been married for 27 years. I knew early on ...I have been married for 27 years. I knew early on my husband was a sex addict. He spent most of our marriage dabbling in magazines, movies and sites on the web. In 2008 we began to raise 5 grandchildren. Shockingly our adult daughters also married addicts and then lost custody of their kids.For the longest time I use to ask what happened to my daughters. One of our grandchildren 2year old fell extremely ill and struggled for her life in ICU. While we were heavy in the grips of fear concern and grief over her my younger daughter discovered a secret email account he left open. It reviled a entire different sexual high. My husband has been posted ads on Craigslist and other sights fro the last 6 years. The last year it escalated to him meeting men in the park for oral sex. Now the threat of his secret leaking out looms over my grandchildren because DSS can reverse the order for their placement for the next 18 years. I clearly understand it is not about what he did but the addiction. I have seen him in recovery and he is wonderful and I have seen him in relapse YIKES. I feel betrayed horrible grief and anger. I now must decide if I am going to keep my home and take the chance of this secret getting out to DSS and go through recovery again.Or do I foreclose my home move several states away witness protection style and take a shot of freedom and raise 5 grandchildren and a 15 year old son and I would be surprised if I do not have to bury my husband from suicide. No answer seems easy or fair. I know his recovery is a long hard journey and relapse follows him with each step.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-46730806425335575012012-08-18T00:40:13.817-07:002012-08-18T00:40:13.817-07:00Thanks sweetie! It IS nice to have little reminde...Thanks sweetie! It IS nice to have little reminders every so often. I agree .... we ALL need it from time to time!<br /><br />BTW - LOVE your blog .... your honesty is wonderful!!!! Mishka_Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04112251033786344354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-1581519054889583952012-08-17T13:48:46.759-07:002012-08-17T13:48:46.759-07:00I sometimes deal with those questions on a daily b...I sometimes deal with those questions on a daily basis, even now. :) I agree with all of your answers, too. It's nice to have a little reminder now and then from an outside source.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-69560382244031754992012-08-16T20:43:30.750-07:002012-08-16T20:43:30.750-07:00Those are wise words my friend ... as you said, th...Those are wise words my friend ... as you said, the answers aren't easy! I totally agree with you about taking your time and not rushing any crazy decisions. Once we do a bit of self discovery and get into a better emotional place we are then able to make the decisions that are best for us .... and we aren't basing our decisions on fear or anger! One step at a time is exactly what it is .... <br /><br />Thanks for your input!!!! If anyone else is reading this, you should really check out Eat My Scabs's blog .... she is a wonderful support in this community. She's a great writer and Ed and I both love to read her honest, upfront, funny, emotional and real words. She is a great voice and many can learn a lot from her! So, check her out!<br /><br />You're awesome!!!!Mishka_Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04112251033786344354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4221411310103222514.post-58217430460907782222012-08-16T19:08:07.431-07:002012-08-16T19:08:07.431-07:00I had every single one of those questions too. Th...I had every single one of those questions too. There are no easy answers. Things that helped me were taking my time and making no fast decisions (unless i was in danger). One step at a timeScabshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13738638161899826056noreply@blogger.com