Happy Holidays!

This holiday season I am feeling SO VERY THANKFUL that my family is together.  I just want to stop for a moment and reflect on what my life could have been like this Christmas . . . me and the kids being without "A", so sad!  And think of the effect that kind of thing has on small kids, something I am so glad that I am not dealing with today.

Porn on Twitter? Who knew ...... I Didn't !

Today I am going to step away from my story for a minute and focus on a something that I read on Twitter that really disturbed me.  I saw an article on Twitter about  "Stop Porn Peddlers From Tweeting Disney and Hardcore Porn to kids".  Obviously I had to check this out . . . . . I have 2 kids and that title really freaked me out!


So, the article claims that porn sites are setting up fake accounts using search terms like Disney, Tinkerbell and The Mysterious Woods (Tink's new movie), Toy Story and even Justin Beiber.  The account has a picture of a young child on it to lure kids in to click on the links provided.  Once they do that they are redirected to a hardcore porn site.

WHAT A PAIN . . . LITERALLY

Today I really want to talk about something that I am experiencing right now.  I think it is VERY important that I talk about the physical pain that I have felt for the past 2 1/2 months as a result of dealing with all the drama.  (A has been in recovery for 4 months now - remember A is what I am calling my  hubby.). This pain definitely manifested itself from the "Trauma" I have experienced . .  and I really do believe I suffered a trauma.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

So, Where do I even begin?  My brain has so much info trying to slip it's way out that it is hard for me to organize them into coherent thoughts!  Anyway, I will start by telling you a tiny bit about my hubby.  


He is one of the most kind, thoughtful, funny, and awesome people that I know (he is truly my best friend and a wonderful dad to our kids) . . . . AND he also can be very selfish, annoying, moody and sometimes just damn rude.  I like to say he is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde . . . although, now that he is really dealing with his underlying issues the 2 sides of him are not distinct anymore.  It is really cool to see that!  (Again, I will talk more about that later).  

WHO AM I???

I am married to a SEX ADDICT.  There it is . . .  I said it and it feels great to finally say it OUT LOUD!!!  This is really not something that is easy to share with people . . . and the fact that we are still together or that I have chosen to stay in the marriage is even harder for most people to understand.  So, obviously I don't talk about it much  . . . except to my wonderful, non judgy friends who know almost everything.  AND we can't forget my AWESOME therapist who keeps me sane on a bi-weekly basis!!!!