My Shame with the movie "SHAME"

Ed & I finally watched the movie "SHAME" last week!  Wow, is all I have to say.  It is a movie about a man and his sex addiction.  I am not sure what I expected but I am still shaken by the emotions that I felt watching it.  I am not sure if I even liked the movie, if you don't understand the world of sex addiction I am not even sure if you would fully comprehend everything that went on ... but what had the biggest impact for me was the loneliness that Michael (the lead character) felt.  It was so intense and so real that it stayed with me for days ... the loneliness was just so heartbreaking.

My Sex Addict Husband ... If I knew then, What I know Now?

Here is a question that people ask me "If you knew then, what you know now .... would you stay with Ed?"  .... that is probably the hardest question for me to answer.  The answer is "I DON'T KNOW".  I know that isn't the answer that people want to hear .... but it is the truth!

First of all, I love Ed so very much!  I'm happy that we are together, I am happy that he is healthy and I am so happy with the incredible family we have.  AND I would love to say that I have no regrets at all .... but that would be a lie.  I don't like to dwell on the past, I am here now, I am happy today and I did the best I could at the time.  But, that question is often asked and I wonder if I had the knowledge and tools that I have today ... would I have made different choices?

Sex Addiction, Insanity & The Grandpa Room ....

You told me she was ready to be a mom ....

You wanted to live in a house together but date other people .....

You said you had sex with her and it was the most incredible experience of your life ....

You said you never really loved me .....

You also said to "Put it in the Grandpa Room" ......

What???!!!  First of all what is a Grandpa Room? .... And what am I even putting there?  OK - it was that last statement that brought me to the realization that he was actually INSANE!  All of the other things he said hurt ... and the hurt still runs deep ....  but once he told me to put it in the Grandpa Room, I realized what an insane place his mind was in.  He wasn't even on planet earth, actually he was somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (Star Wars anyone????).