Let's Share . . .

I would LOVE to hear more about YOUR story.  Leave a comment here and share with us some of the struggles and challenges that you have experienced with the crazy world of sex addiction.  You may be an addict or the partner of one . . . either way it would be great for us all to connect!  

Or . . .  maybe you have a question about some of my experiences.   Ask away . . .  I'm finding that this purging of my journey is VERY therapeutic for me!!!

Or maybe you just feel like you need to be heard!!!  I have been there and frankly, there are times that I just need to be heard now!  I guess that is why I am writing this blog!!!!  

Anyway, I would love to hear from you!!!!!


  1. Well here is a question for you...would you marry a sex addict? Would you marry one in recovery for over a year? The reason why I ask is because I am.


    1. Wow .... that is such an incredibly tough question ..... thank you for this. To be honest, I have been sitting here staring at the computer not knowing how to answer. From everything that I have learned and all the self discovery that I have "discovered" .... only YOU can answer that. I have learned from my therapist that we can trust ourselves to make the choices that we are able to make in the moment that we need to make them! Sometimes though, I want to say to her ... "aaahhhhhh, just give me the answers!!!!!" .... but really she is right, as annoying as it sounds.

      For me, if I knew then what I know now I am not sure I would make the same decision. I like to think I would have .... but I don't know, I can't know ... I am a different person now. I do replay that in my mind occasionally but that really gets me nowhere. I love my hubby so much, and I know he loves me but the road has been challenging. The thing for me was that we went through it 10 years ago and then it resurfaced recently .... and much worse.

      But, the important thing that we all have to remember is that sex addicts can overcome their compulsions and live a wonderful life. Some truly heal and some relapse. I guess it's the risk we take.

      Good luck my friend! Sorry, my answer to you sucks but I find honesty in life is so important. Did he tell you about his sex addiction or did you find out another way? How long have you been together?

      Also know that you are both very brave to be doing this recovery and committing to it. That is so wonderful .....

    2. Hello Mishka,
      No, I would not marry a sex addict if I knew beforehand. In fact, I have walked away from relationships immediately in the past. This time, I have a ten year investment, helped him get to where he is in his job, raised a child with him, and on a minor note...have some serious health problems of my own.

      I am willing to go live in a shelter if I have to and I am close to doing it. I know I will get help from Women's Center's, etc. to start over. This sounds really cynical, but the only thing I can find on a positive note in this relationship is that when I am ill, he is there to help me. But, I think I would be fine on my own, just like I was before I met him.

      I have been trying to figure out the real reason I have not been more forceful about kicking him to the curb. 1) There is a certain amount of security in the relationship (I can't believe I'm writing this!? What is wrong with me?) 2) I can be intimidating and I think my man-child husband may have truly been afraid of my independence (How funny is that now?) AND it was a way to pay me back for being intimidating. 3) I demanded that he take medication from a psychiatrist (one of the boundaries) if he wanted me to stay. He is currently taking Paxil 25mg. daily and I really think his libido has decreased. I can be pretty sure of the effect because I have been on SSRI antidepressants myself in the past. 4) I paid $300.00 for a polygraph shortly after I discovered his secret life. He passed it.

      Nevertheless, with all of the wasted years and now with all of his burden being dumped on me, it's not worth it. I feel like he has and still is getting the best end of the deal and I'm resentful. He's happy now that he has dumped his secret (even though he may be creating another one as I write). I was miserable with the sexual anorexia (and in denial) and now I'm miserable with the truth. I'm not usually cynical, but this really has made me that way when it comes to men.

      I am so sorry for all of you who have had to go through this. It is not fair to you and you deserve so much better. I pray that all of you will eventually leave this behind and find true happiness....as I am trying to do.

    3. Hi there! Thank you so much for you HONESTY! I know this path can be sooo hard and unfair too! That part truly sucks! It sounds like you are hurting so much ... and I am reaching out to give you a really BIG HUG from someone that understands and cares!!!!! I am so sorry that you are going through this!!!!

      It's great that you are taking care of yourself, kudos to you! It's important for us women to set our boundaries and stick to them. Just know though that not all men are like this and even some men who have gone through this disaster can CHANGE and live an amazing life filled with honesty, love and integrity. It can happen ....

      If your man isn't willing to truly embrace recovery and change his life than I agree it is a good idea to consider leaving .... well, run out the door as fast as you can!! Forever is a long time and dealing with this on and off throughout life is just not fair. We all deserve a great life!

      BUT ... if a man is willing to own his shit, take responsibility for it and do everything in his power to gain control of his life, his happiness and the relationship than I KNOW life can still be AMAZING! I have found that Ed and I have a deeper intimacy, trust and connection than before ... when we deal with something so bad we, as a couple, have the opportunity to take the shattered pieces and rebuild them in a different and amazing way.

      Ed and I work with these women and couples and I have seen MANY of them learn how to heal, make piece with and created an amazing connection that they swore would be lost. But it only works if the man is truly able to be accountable for his shit and embrace learning a different way!

      ANyway, just my 2 cents ..... I wish you all the luck though .. you sound like a FIGHTER!!!!! Brighter days are ahead ... just go out and create it!!! I know you will find your happiness!!!!

  2. Dear Mishkas,

    Thanks for sharing your story. We have just begun our journey and now I am feeling all the pain I had hiden away trying to be strong. It's so excruciating but now I feel better it is all out, I can start to deal with it.

    My husband is a sex addict, even if this has not emerged during therapy sessions yet but from what I have been reading I guess this is the case.

    He has always betrayed me during our 20 years together. Sex at the beginning was great, then it decreased, plummeted actually, after marriage (10 years ago) and now it is null (4 years). He has confessed going to strip clubs and has had a string of affairs before meeting another woman two years ago but claims it is just sex and has no "feeling" towards me (he says he is blocked)even if he confessed to our therapist that he would want to. He won't leave this other person until he understands that things can return to normal between us (I guess he fears having to look around for sex again).
    I don't know what will become of us, how we will heal. I just know that he is my man and our relationship is too important.
    We are at the beginning of our journey, I'm sticking here for as long as it takes.

    It's great to know that we are not alone, I am in such pain now and I don't understand why it is coming out now when things seem getting better.


    1. Thanks so much for reaching out Laura! It is amazing what we do to survive the chaos that engulfs us during these times! Ugh! Sometimes our pain does comes when you are actually doing better! For me, it was once Ed started to come back down to planet Earth. I remember, we were both in our therapy .. we were learning to communicate and each of us support each other in what we were going through. That gives you a chance to talk about what has happened, talk about your feelings, really be honest with each other ... and that communication and honesty can bring up some really PAINFUL shit. Digging down into the core of your soul and coming to terms with stuff that you may have just stuffed down deep really brings the EMOTION to the surface! And with that emotion comes the pain ... that is the way it works!!!! BUT, THAT IS A GOOD THING!

      It means that you are dealing with what has happened. If you didn't bring it up ... you would never be able to move forward completely. The MOST important piece of self growth that I learned through this journey is how to ACCEPT my pain, learn to sit with it, give myself COMPASSION for what I have gone through and love myself for it as well. Accepting the suckiness and not trying to run away from it has helped me to heal in a way that has empowered me!

      I am really happy that you and your man are in therapy ... that is great! It is so important for him to be committed to therapy and to your relationship 100%. I hope he does break it off with the other woman .... soon. It is hard to be 100% committed with that lingering ... I know. I remember when Ed had broke up with his "other" and I was driving him to and from his intensive therapy, every day. He was still clinging to a piece of her, for a short period of time (that is natural), and I did feel that I was saving him for our kids but I didn't know if I wanted to be with him at that point. It wasn't until he completely let go of her that we were able to truly begin moving forward.

      Again, this is just me .... but try to encourage him to let go for the sake of your own sanity. When dealing with sex addiction, the return to normal is a process and sometimes a long one ... so it is really important for him and you to focus on each other. He can't do that until he starts to identify with the pain that it causes you! It is about you too ... remember that! What you have gone through needs an equal amount of support!

      Check out this bog i read on betrayal ... it is pretty powerful. http://compulsionsolutions.com/blog/lets-look-at-the-issue-of-betrayal-by-faye-reitman-m-f-t/

      Also, check out this book: A Couple's Guide to Sex Addiction, A Step-By-Step Plan to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy. http://www.compulsionsolutions.com/couples-guide-to-sexual-addiction.html I link to this on my blog ... it was crucial for Ed and I and helped in saving our marriage. I HIGHLY recommend it!!!!

      Good luck, keep me updated and feel free to bitch, vent, scream, cry or ask questions here on my blog ...... I am so happy that I have helped you feel you are not alone! I am always here!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Thank you so much, it's a wonderful feeling to know I'm not alone.

    1. Hang in there ... you really are NOT alone. It's amazing how many families and people this affects!!!

  4. I just found your blog and I look forward to reading it. My husband told me 4 months ago that he had a problem and he and I are both in counselling and he is taking the steps needed to overcome this addiction. For me though, things seem to be worse now than it was when I first found out and I'm struggling to work through what I am feeling and experiencing, especially since I have nobody that I can talk to face to face without exposing what my husband is going through. Even if I did confide in a close friend, who of them would actually understand what I am going through?

    1. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry that you are going through this .... it is so hard and just a damn, long process!!! First of all, it's wonderful that you have reached out on here ... you are not alone and many women just don't know who to reach out to. It's hard putting that HUGE trust in someone and hope that they can support you, not judge you, and understand. Sometimes though, you may just need someone to talk to, give you a hug, buy you a HUGE fatty ice cream sundae, bring you a coffee... whatever friends do to cheer you up. That is important too! Think about your friends and who might give you that support ....

      I know people judge, but I see a man who is facing his struggles head on, facing the pain he has caused himself and his family, incredibly brave! It's also amazing once you start opening up how many other people have problems too!!! I started telling a friend of mine what has happened and she confessed to me that her husband has been hitting her and her son for years! Damn, I didn't expect that! My point is that you would be surprised how many people have ISSUES in their lives. They just don't talk about it ....

      It's always a little worse at the point you are at. At first you are so focused with dealing with the situation and getting help and just surviving day to day. Then the hard work starts, the work where you strip down your emotions and truly dig into how you are REALLY feeling, deal with the trauma you have been through, recognize your anger at your man, recognize how crappy this is ... etc, etc! it is all REALLY hard to deal with. For me, the shame set in ... why have I stayed? Why did I put up with him not treating me great? What is my future going to look like? Aaaaahhhh .... so when you think about it like that it makes perfect sense that you feel worse. You are bringing up the real emotions ... and they don't feel good!

      Just remember, if you can open yourself up and accept those emotions, welcome them in, becomes friends with those feelings, give them compassion as you would a friend, and learn from them. Use them to work on yourself and empower yourself. I know it's hard and sometimes it's hard just surviving. But, you will survive it and you will be better off in the long run.

      Feel free to email me if you need to chat or vent .... mishkas.life@gmail.com I know it's hard!!!!! Big HUGS my friend!!!!!

  5. Hi and thanks for the great info. I have been married to my SA husband for 6 years - together for 8. We have one child together - a beautiful 2 year old. What I struggle with the most is how I have been blamed for so much in our relationship. I came from a previous unhealthy marriage and definitely have trust issues, insecurities and codependency. What I find is that i get jealous or insecure and he goes into a rage. When I first had the courage to confront him about possible escort use - he became enraged (usual reaction) and made me feel crazy. It made me doubt all of the previous times i said stuff and was accused of 'needing help' or being a jealous crazy woman.
    I have been with him as he stared at women, knew about his porn use - but all he can focus on is how I try to control him. This past week, he came home excited that some woman friend of one of his co-worker had a cute kid that would be a great friend for our only child. She lived near us and we could pick her up to go to the park, etc. Now considering my insecurities and the fact that he just admitted to being with at least 7 escorts / prostitutes, I got a little upset and foolishly asked him if she was going to be his girlfriend. He was furious - gave me the usual long (days) silent treatment (am i a freak - or is it weird that he got to know this woman enough to have her trust him to pick up her kid?) - then I caught him at a sex club and followed him to a bar where he tried to pick up numerous women....sounds so INSANE as I write it. He is still ignoring me like I did something wrong.
    He is going to SA Meetings - and I am in COSA - and even after saying all of that - I love him. He is wise, caring and a great dad. AM I losing my mind - I am resisting making the first move to talk because that is what i have always done - and i think it lets him off the hook for his behaviour. He talks about my disease (control, codependency) and it's like it is his excuse to sleep around. Wow - I am so damn tired.

    1. Oh sweetie!!! Thank you so much for reaching out …. it is such a hard time that you are going through and obviously I know how it feels like!!! Really, it sucks!!!! First of all, his anger and rage is definitely his defensive mechanism …. because he is really doing those things. You do have a right to be angry, to be scared, to feel jealous, he needs to accept the consequences for his actions. Really man up and take responsibility. Until he does, it is going to be very hard to rebuild back any trust there. And, I think it is important for you to start working on yourself, your self esteem, start digging down and finding YOUR AWESOMENESS. It's there, you just need to KNOW THAT!!!!

      They also like to say that we are the crazy ones because it is their way of projecting how they feel inside onto us. No one likes to admit they are out of control … they want help, want to change but also don't want to completely let go of their addiction. It is their coping, the way they numb their pain, their security blanket. So .... he puts it on you so he doesn't have to take FULL responsibility for his actions … that is so common! AND … although he is caring and a great dad, it is NEVER ok to demean you, it is very childish to ignore you, and totally unacceptable to ever be in a rage over HIS acting out behavior. It's funny how it's so easy to cling on to those great parts of their personality, we all do …. when they aren't being assholes they are great guys, that keeps us in the relationship. It's easy to fall into that.

      But, the problem then is that we allow them to treat us like shit the other times. THAT IS NEVER OK! He may not like the way you approach things but he needs to open up his mind, accept what he has done and try to work with you as part of a team… you are wounded too. You both do … it should be a partnership and it seems like you are not working together. Just remember, you DESERVE the best that LIFE has to offer ….

      Both of you have some issues to work on (remember throughout this journey of life, we ALL have shit to work on - your stuff is just coming out now) … and I suspect that is part of the reason you two have been attracted together. I always say …. we end up loving the people that are going to bring up the SHIT that we need to work on the most. I would say that seems to be true for both of you. You need to work on believing in yourself, loving yourself and not putting up with someone who isn't going to treat you GREAT! YOU are worth it!!!

      Have you guys tried couple's counseling by someone who is trained in sex addiction? They can help you learn to communicate without the SHAME and BLAME words that get thrown around. There are ways to honestly communicate that help to build trust and not distance you two ... you could really benefit from that.

      A great first step is to stop trying to catch him acting out. My thoughts on that is …. if he continues to act out you are going to work on yourself and find the strength to leave. No woman deserves that! It's one thing to get caught up in the spiral of your addiction but once it is recognized that it is there and your wife knows about it …then it NEEDS to stop. Set some boundaries for yourself and stick to the consequences. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

      Good luck ... stay strong and know that you have a big community of women here to support you!!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!!

  6. Hey, I am not sure if you are still actively blogging or not but am at a lost for words when it comes to the situation that I currently find myself in. My boyfriend of almost 5 years is completely addicted to "sexting" he has done it through out our whole relationship on and off and I am just now (well for the past 8 or so months) realizing that it is MUCH worse than I originally thought and is something that I truly believe is an impluse he doesn't currently know how to handle. We have an 8 month old son together now though so it makes leaving incredibly hard. Aside from his addictive bipolar moments he is a good person. He has a good heart and loves my son and I very much I know this. BUT he REFUSES to admit his problem. He SWEARS UP AND DOWN that he isn't doing it when there is proof all over the place. REcently I have talked to 3 women that he tried to do it with (in the last week I talked to them) but he still won't admit it. He is progressing to doing it with people that he meets in person (before it was people from the internet he didn't know) I honestly don't think he has cheated physically YET but if given the opportunity I think he would. Maybe he has who knows really but I do know that he is getting worse. I want to be with him for all of the greatness I see in him, but I can't keep living this way. We go to see a therapist tomorrow. But what do I do when he refuses to admit he has a problem? he is in complete denial about it. uuuuuuughhh!!!! I know after he is done doing it he feels dirty about it we have talked about it before. What do I do to help him come to the decision to get help?

    1. Hello my friend! Thank you soooo very much for reaching out to me! And YES, I am still blogging .... I have just been so busy with the projects that I am working on that my posts have been quite scarse lately! But I do check it for any comments every day because people need help and advice and that is why I started this. To share my story and help give support and encouragement to others. So, thank you again for sharing!!!

      The hardest part of all of this is when our men just WONT admit that they have a problem. Until they can understand what they are doing and the impact that it has on themselves and their loved ones it is a very hard path to be on. We all know the expression "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink". Sadly, that is especially true in this case. And it sounds like you understand that.

      One question I have for you is when you said his "bipolar moments" ... do you mean that figuratively or literally? If he has real bipolar issues than that presents another challenge because (I am not an expert on this - I am a life coach and not a therapist) but from what I know people in their manic phases can often be extremely liberal in their sexual behaviors.

      But if you meant it figuratively than how do you snap some sense into his brain???? It's hard! There is really not much you can do to force him to see the truth about his behaviors. Therefore it is really important for you to create your own boundaries of what you can and can't handle. Set your own boundaries and then it is important to have the strength to follow through with it. If he hasn't physically cheated yet he may not see the huge impact it has on you (his way of justifying it in his brain).

      Do you have any proof that you can show him? Sometimes (although it is not my preferred way of doing things) ultimatum's work. Many guys who see George (at Compulsion Solutions) first come because their wives told them if they don't get help than they are leaving the marriage. Again, that is not how I like things to work but if a guy can't see both sides of the equation than there is only so much misery that the other person can live with. It isn't really an ultimatum for me, it is creating a boundary and being strong and true to yourself.

      You can approach it in a way that is about you. Don't shame or blame him (that will only feed the whole shame cycle thing) but focus on how you have been feeling in the relationship. And say that in order for you to feel safe and supported than you need him to do x,y,z. And if he isn't willing to do that than you have to re-evaluate your situation as well. It's never easy honey but it is important for you to stay true to YOU!!! And trust me, once you bring kids in the picture it is an even harder decision. But know this ... if you embrace self-growth for yourself as well, you will survive either way!!!

      Here is a link to the podcast that my husband and I do. We talk about sex addiction, the effects that it has and we talk about how we have healed and embraced the power that we each have inside to create our happiness and the life that we truly want to live. SOme guys say that they really connect with my hubby (Ed) and it was really helpful to them in their recovery. Just knowing that someone has been there and knows what they are going through sometimes goes a long way! Here is the link:

      Good luck and just remember to take care of yourself! You deserve your happiness and make sure you embrace your power of choice too. We always have a CHOICE! We all do ... it may not feel like it now, but we do. He certainly does and so do you!!!! I hope everything works out and he embraces some help! You both deserve happiness!!!!


  7. Thanks for responding! I think my situation is different than most. He is clinically bipolar. and depressed. He also uses drugs on a regular basis. (right now just weed as far as I know) And exactly, I am at my wits end with all of this now ESPECIALLY because of our son. He is in complete denial about it all. I have TALKED to these women-he says they are all lying. at times he kind of admits it but isn't ready to fully embrace the issues he has and realize he needs help. I have tried the whole "I'm leaving" thing and have actually left. But I can't bring myself to leave completely yet because he is a GOOD person when he is him. We started therapy last wednesday, we go again this wednesday. RIght now I am trying to help him get through this and come to terms with the fact he needs help. I truly feel like if I don't help him then nobody else will. It is all so overwhelming. and that is why I started therapy, because I can't handle all of this anymore and if he refuses to get help then I will ultimately have to leave. it just sucks. I will for sure check out that podcast! It feels like he is on the brink of getting help. He has so many emotional problems that right now I think he feels like it is impossible to get anywhere. Really I probably shouldn't still be here right now I realize that. But not ready to have that be the case yet. Thanks again! reading this blog has helped alot knowing that more people have gone through atleast part of what I'm going through right now..

    1. I am sending you a BIG HUGE HUG .... you totally need it!!! It is really hard when they are in denial, as I'm sure you know, you can't MAKE someone "get it". And since he has bipolar issues and depression that presents a whole other situation for you. And one that I don't have much experience in. I know for those with mental health issues it is so important to take their medication, exercise, eat well and meditate.

      It is great that you are trying to help him. I did the same thing ... I knew in my heart that I was going to at least try ... and then if I walk away I will know I did what I could. Keep up the really strong attitude .. because in the end, no matter what happens .... YOU WILL SURVIVE!!! Take it one day at a time ... if the time comes and you need to make a change, it will happen when you are ready. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself (it sounds like you are) and remember that you deserve a fantastic life! It's good to support him, I am a firm believer in that .... just don't lose sight of your needs and what you want in life!!!!! BIG HUGS to you again!!!!!

      Keep in touch and let me know how things are going .... !

  8. Hi,
    Very glad to find your blog. Married for 12 years, 5 kids, the youngest is four. Husband is a sex addict and he makes the income for our family. He is being terminated next week, so no more income, no more health or dental insurance. No family who are willing to help us in any way, they know what is going on but just say, well he is just going to have to get a job, like its easy to do especially as he is 57. Only found out about this a few months ago, thought everything was okay until last week and found he is being fired next week. We have no savings. Don't know what to do. Honestly I do love him, but I don't know that I can stay. He told me last year he just made a few calls to women when I found a phone bill and swore it was done. Since then its been on the computer and on the phone with lots of women. I am so alone here, my friends and family are not even in this country.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story!!! Wow, you are going through a lot right now .... ALOT! My heart goes out to you my dear and I KNOW how confusing this is. Especially when they lose their jobs and not only has your emotional safety been ripped away now your financial safety is gone too! It sucks ....

      You don't need to know right now whether you are going to stay or not. Take it one day at a time .... when you are ready to make a decision you will. RIght now, it's important to start taking care of you! Have you confided in a friend or a counselor / coach? Has he started any recovery work? Do you guys plan on doing any couple's work? Is your hubby being terminated from his job for something related to his sex addiction?

      Just remember, you will SURVIVE and THRIVE from this! You deserve to be happy and you have to power to create that for yourself. I know it doesn't feel that way now .... but I promise you that you can create your happiness. Just take it one day at a time and don't forget to support yourself in all this! You need it!!!!!

  9. Hey love! Just wanted to letyou know I changed my blog name when I gave it an facelift. http://repairingshatteredpieces.wordpress.com/ instead of If Happy Ever After Did Exist. Did want you to think I up and left!

    1. Hello my friend!!!!!! Your new blog looks FANTASTIC! Wow ... I am super impressed! Thanks for letting me know! How are you doing BTW? We are doing great and I have had so much going on that I have been having a major case of writer's block! I have so much swirling around in my head and I just can't make the words come out right on the screen ... so I'm really due for a blog post! I am always so impressed on how much you blog and write and share. You are AMAZING!!!!!

      BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!!!

  10. Here is my story. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. He has been a sex addict our entire marriage but only just started recovery 1 year ago after he met a woman for oral sex. Up until then he had not been physical with anyone. I occasionally caught him watching porn, sexting, and joining dating websites. Every time he would swear never to do it again. Meeting someone for oral sex was my breaking point. He had been doing well for almost a year and then I found he was back to his old ways. For the last four months he has been lying to me. He swears up and down that nothing physical has happened, only phone sex and sexting (as if that makes me feel any better). My question is how do you deal with relapse? My world has been turned upside down again. How will I ever trust him again? Your blog has helped me so much. It's like reading my own thoughts.

    1. Hi Angela! Thank you SOOOOO much for sharing your story. It's so hard and I love that women feel comfortable sharing it on here ... thank you for your bravery! Thank you too for your awesome words about my blog ... just knowing that I help is incredible to me!

      Ok, I have a few questions .... is your hubby getting any help for his compulsion? Are you doing any couple's work together? This type of thing doesn't usually go away on it's own. And it is really important to be in some type of coaching or counseling to help him be aware of what he is doing, the impact it has on you, become accountable for his actions and embrace his power of "choice".

      How do you deal with relapse? Relapse can happen ... it is so important to create your own boundaries and safety in your relationship, especially when relapse happens. You need to decide what the effect that a relapse has on you and if you can handle it. This is when it is SOOOO important for him to be actively getting help!

      Can you learn to trust again? Yes ... but he has to earn that trust back ... and that takes time, alot of time! This is where it becomes recovery not just for him but for you too and also as a couple. This part is HARD work for both of you. He needs to embrace his recovery and not just think that just because he wasn't physical that it isn't that traumatic for you. It is and this is where couple's work is sooo important! I think that is really important .... there is so much that needs to be supported, so much that needs to be healed, so much that needs to be learned that I feel that it is crucial to healing!

      I'm not sure if this answered your question at all ..... these are tough questions that are unique to each couple. If you want to email me at mishkas.life@gmail.com .... feel free and you can tell me a little more about your situation. You can also pass my husband's email along to your hubby as well ... craigperra@gmail.com. He is always happy to help too!!!!

  11. hello.
    I found your podcast a while ago and then found this great spot!
    so I have been with my partner for 7 years. One year ago is when he hit rock bottom and found a treatment center for his sex addiction... at the time, I thought his main addiction was weed and a little drinking. I was 5 months pregnant, with a sweet 2 year old girl, the librarian and running a greenhouse - now single parenting.So thankful he went though.
    He'd been in there 2 months and it was family week time. At the end of the first day of program, i was taken to see him. then he said he had to tell me something big. "I am a sex addict" he said. WHAAAT?! what does THAT even mean?! I really didn't think he'd ever been unfaithful to me. how wrong I was. There was to be a "disclosure" where he'd let me in on this MASSIVE secret he'd been hiding from me since we hooked up.

    the day came. a counsellor, a psychologist, him and me. 4 chairs. in a bright room. him with his little notebook full of doom. His face far passed nervous, into numbness. A nod from Todd and he began. "intercourse...prostitute...girl from bar...transexual... KABOOOOM... intercourse...BAWAAAAAM... bathhouse...
    on and on he went.... like every 2 months almost some kind of acting out.I was completely in shock. fucking plowed.
    This man sitting across from me was my best friend. the father of my kids. the person I thought I knew best out of everyone in the world. we'd been through lots of shitty times and tonnes of great times.
    that guy disappeared. now there was a complete stranger sitting across from me.

    somehow I made it through that week, the month.. I though I did pretty good and dealt with it! I thought the hard part was over and now we'd move on!

    then he came home and I gave birth to our second beauty girl. He did well for the first 3 months. We went to meetings - all Alanon and AA, {unfortunately there are very few resources for COSA in canada. They are still in the thinking that there's no such thing as a sex addiction} Then he slipped back into old patterns of thinking. started smoking weed again and not going to meetings. ONE week before christmas is when he decides to head back up to treatment center. His counselor told him he had better do that. He'd been having suicidal thoughts and horrible things like that.

    Without any known future funds coming in, and with the stress of xmas, I loaded up my girls and headed to where all my family is. Christmas passed... I started going to meetings and counseling.
    Then my mom's cancer returned... my mom passed away one month ago.
    Naturally I've been deep in the grips of grief. I've have had no time to devote to thoughts of him.
    He will be coming home in one week and I am freaking out.

    we've had sex once since i found out.
    at this point i can not imagine EVER having sex again... too sad. too painful.
    I am nursing baby, hoping that is why my libido is completely non-existent.

    I thought for sure we'd make it through after the disclosure but now I have no idea what will happen. Things have changed in my mind. Or its been too long since I've seen him.

    also I have no resources for co sex addiction where I live. I think I need to take this seriously because I want to give him a chance. I know he is suffering.
    blaaah. I'm so bored of this story that I cant tell.
    its good to finally read and hear people talking about it.

    1. Hello my dear friend!!!!!!! Thank you sooo much for reaching out to me, WOW ... what a story. Too much is being piled on you and I'm sure at times it feels like you are going to suffocate or collapse from the weight of what you are carrying on your chest. First I want to say that I am so sorry that you are going through all of this, especially coupled with your mom passing away. I am sending you a HUGE HUG!!!!!!

      I understand the crazy in their heads all too well. Craig's mind was very all over the place too .... it took getting the right help to MOVE FORWARD and EMBRACE his POWER OF CHOICE and start to WAKE UP to get this cycle healthy and to an end. It is so important to learn tools to change his mind in healthy ways and begin to embrace the life he wants and getting out of swirling in the shit from the past!!! It's empowering really ... he just needs to get there!

      Now, as for you .... it is crucial to get the right support for you too!!! It's amazing though that with the right support and both partners working hard at supporting each other EQUALLY .... there is so much amazing work that can be done. Relationships CAN and DO survive this, and often times if healing is embraced with the right support ... the growth can bring you to a better place than you have ever been. Many of my friends are at that point in life where all the divorces are starting ... and I think Why are Craig and I still together and you guys aren't??? The answer is easy .... we BOTH did the work and wanted CHANGE. So, we worked hard to create our happiness! When faced with this shit you are forced to grow in different and amazing ways!

      You are not in a place where you can imagine having sex with him and right now, you are hurt, scared, confused ... way too much going on!!! Just be ok with that ... no need to project where your mind will be in the future and that is TOTALLY ok. Just be in the present moment and love yourself for the place where you are at .... it's ok.

      And when he comes home ... use that opportunity to begin rebuilding trust, friendship and emotional safety. It takes time ... be patient, get help and try to be present. AND ... like you said, finding support for you is VERY important to your own healing!!!

      Ok, resources ... reaching out to other bloggers is a great resource! You can also check out the forum on Feed The Right Wolf ... they have a free forum where you can go on and share your story, questions, concerns or just want to vent and need some advice. Here is the site .. http://www.feedtherightwolf.org ... and click on the forum tab. Other partners are on there supporting each other too. It's a great resource.

      Also, just to let you know Craig and I do one-on-one Life Coaching for partners, the hubby's and also for the couple together. All of our work is on the phone or skype so we work with people all over the world that way. It works really well and gives that support from a perspective of "we get it ... we have been there ... we KNOW". It's been an amazing journey to be able to change people's lives!

      You can also feel free to give your hubby Craig's email .... craig@feedtherightwolf.org .... sometimes just a bit of motivation from Craig can go a long way for him!!!

      Good luck my friend!!!!! I am very sad that it is so hard for you BUT do know that crappy experiences can be looked at as OPPORTUNITIES to decide what you want and work toward making that happen!! YOu deserve an amazing life my friend!!!!! BIG HUGS again!!!!

  12. Lisa MarshallApril 11, 2013 at 8:23 AM
    Hello Mishka,

    My story is no different, I am married to serial cheater/SA I have come to this realization on my own and personal therapy I have been receiving. My husband was an assistant pastor in our church and we lead the youth ministry, so even though the changes were there, I wasn't prepared for the many infidelities and emotional attachments, erotic massages and pornography.

    He confessed 7 months ago to not being the man I thought he was and that he has been living a double life. What I thought was a cry for help wasn't as he left three weeks later for the UK to be with an affair partner. When I realized he was not willing to do the hard work of recovery, I asked him to leave the family home before he left for the UK.

    He has been living with his mother now for 7 months and has now asked me for a divorce just 6 months into the separation. I know he has been with other women he met online and he has not made any effort to get counseling or help for himself. We did go to one couples counseling session, but after the psychiatrist asked to see him alone, he didn't go back.

    Now with our two children 9 and 5, I am trying to be the best mum I know and hold them close as their father doesn't want to come back home. I have gotten counseling for them as well and they are processing the situation well.

    I continue my therapy as I now face the reality of a divorce and even though he made the decision, it still hurts like hell. I have put more boundaries in place but I cannot cease total contact because of the kids. So now we only discuss the children and I plan with him when he will see them.

    The story of us after 15 yrs will end and I am still making my peace with that, but I have encouraged him to get help, not too sure he will though. I have to let him go now and not continue to hope for a reconciled marriage.

  13. Hi ,
    My husband has done the program with Craig and has had an amazing transformation! My husband was ready & Craig knows his stuff. He was addicted to porn & window peeking for all of our 35yrs of marriage. My husband said he started at the age of 14. I had caught him off and on with porn material and about 5 yrs into our marriage he admitted he was window peeking. I was stunned!! I thought.." what a freak!! " what a perv!!". But he said he " wanted to tell me cause it would make it so he would have to stop". Wow, what's that mean? Anyway, 6 months ago porn was found and I could take the terrible roller coaster ride he was putting on..not to mention his rudeness & ignoring behavior for 35 years to me

  14. To continue, now he is the new found person ready for a new life. He actually talks me. All the lying & constant looking ( neighbors & friends of mine who I talk to on a daily basis) at the naked & showering , he said he finally ready to stop..after 35years.. He dumps this on me!! How am I suppose to process all this..he acts like he has this new found religion & expecting me to pat him on the back for finally coming clean.."im sick!!!".
    I loved talking to Michelle cause she got me. And their really isn't anyone does. Some days are unbearable..i see these women and try not to think about what my husband saw. And I go to the store knowing all the ladies there he has looked over so thoroughly and undressed them in his mind..EVERYDAY.. He has admitted to doing that. Now I feel like he is cured in some way & now im left with the images & thoughts all the time..he just passed it on to me. How crazy does that sound?
    When we first started therapy with Craig & Michelle my husband talked to me about how he was dealing with his addiction & me about my emotion everyday, now he never asks me how im doing, like its all better now? Im the one who has to bring it up. A lot of selfishness going on here..the addiction & his actions our whole marriage has revolved around him & helping him overcome. Im doing the best I can, but some days still suck and I wish I could get back those painful 35 years of abuse.
    .so many tears have been shed during those years but everything else in my life was so good..7 kids later..
    I not sure at times if I can do this...
    Posting has helped somewhat..at least im able to express freely..
    Thanks for everything Michelle..
    With love & hugs to all you ladies hurting..
    Love Still hurting on Idaho

    1. Hi my AMAZING friend!!!! I realized that I never responded to you on here (not that I needed to, because we talked shortly after this) … I really fell off my blogging for a while .. and I just wanted to respond here since I know people read these comments and our stories, YOUR STORY, helps so many others. It's so important to share. Thank you for being so brave!

      Once you both did your own recovery and healing it was time for the COUPLE'S work! Individual healing is crucial but not the last step. After that the HARD part comes … the intimacy, the connection, allowing yourself to be vulnerable … and it's hard. As you know! You guys decided to do more work with us …. committed to working together as a couple … showing love, empathy, respect and the willingness (as hard as it seemed some times) to do the work.

      You did and I know you guys are in a really good place now! I am sooooo proud of you both!


  15. Hey Mishkas
    We are excited to announce that our foundation, The SA Lifeline Foundation, is launching a new website next Wednesday, October 16. We are an organization that aims to provide hope, education, and resources related to pornography and sexual addiction recovery. Our literature and resources are serving a critical need to aid individuals and families seeking to heal from pornography and sexual addictions. To help increase awareness of the work we’re doing, we ask that you attach a link on your website to our new website. We will, of course, do the same for your organization, to help better educate those who learn of the vital work to protect and strengthen families. Thanks for the work you put in to defend the most fundamental unit of strength in society—our families!
    Thanks for the brave things you post on your blog!

  16. Mishka! Haven't talked to you in forever how are you??? I wanted to ask you about your experience with the media. We've been offered a pretty visible spot on a national tv show and I'm super hesitant because of potential ramifications...wanted to know what your experience was like! If you want to email me directly would love to catch up - marriedsexaddicts@gmail.com

    1. Hello my friend!!!! How are you???? I have been a bit MIA on my blog lately .. we have been really focusing on getting our coaching practice to kick ass ... LOL!

      My experience with the media has been mixed. I have had a few AWESOME experiences and a few really not positive ones as well. I will email you directly and we can chat about it!!!!!


  17. Hi All

    I feel a little awkward sharing my experience but here goes *deep breath*

    I was in an awesome relationship with my live in partner for nearly 2 years when I found out he had spent most of his life as a secret sex / prostitute / love / pornography / masturbation addict... This revelation came out almost casually after watching a TV show on the subject. Discovering this about my 'perfect' partner felt like a bomb hand gone off. I was in complete shock.

    Apparently, he 'recovered' from this 15 year addiction about 6 months before we met.

    It was replaced almost immediately by sexual anorexia.

    I'm now realizing that he has never experienced true intimacy with an adult woman before within the confines of a 'normal' relationship.

    I'm pleased that he no longer has the impulse to 'act out' but it's hard coming to terms that the man I fell in love with, is not the man I currently live with. The other major issue is he feels frustrated if I ever feel triggered or upset by his past... Often, I find myself keeping my emotions secret so I'm not met with his anger / frustration.

    I've never experienced addiction before so am doing my best to read up on everything.

    But I find it very, very frightening and overwhelming....

    Any help, advice, shared experience or words of wisdom welcome.

    Thank you!


    1. Hello there!!! Thanks so much for reaching out … it is really brave to open up and ask for help. That is the reason why I started this blog to start opening up the discussion for people who are on the path to healing … it is so important for us to share and learn from each other. I now coach women and couple's to heal from this because there is a lot of negativity out there on this subject. ALOT! The truth is that we can use this CRAP … and I understand the crap that it is, I have lived it too … but we can use it as a chance to grow in awesome ways, and we can do it together as a couple.

      I'm glad that he has recovered from his "addiction" … but that is just the first part of healing. Generally sex / porn addiction is a symptom. or negative way of coping, with one's life. There is much growth to be done after the issue of stopping the addiction. The next step is using that forward momentum to create the life you want and learn how to experience intimacy and connection. Many of these men have MAJOR issues with intimacy and connection … Craig also experienced the sexual anorexia piece and it was the biggest challenge for him. We started over … learned intimacy and connection slowly, re-learned what it meant to be in a partnership, learned about healthy sexuality for both of us … that was the journey that brought us where we are today.

      I will tell you it does seem scary and overwhelming …. but good can come out of this if you can BOTH keep an open mind and respect for each other and for what each of you needs. Ask yourself this .. when you feel triggered, what exactly do you need or want from him? Ask him … When you approach him with your feelings of being triggered what does he need from you in order for him to hear what you are saying?

      It's important for you each to hear how to support each other and to be clear on what that is.

      Listen to our podcast …. http://www.spreaker.com/user/sexaddiction … it has many episodes on it with lots of advice and perspective. It has helped many others and provides much needed support to couple's as well!

      My hubby Craig, coaches men in healing from this, is doing a free webinar in the next few weeks that may be helpful as well. Send me an email to michelle@theconnectioncoaches.com and I can let you know the details.

      HUGS my friend!!!

  18. I love your blog it has given me hope! I am a recovering sex addict myself. I found a great program with a great support system. I have 6 1/2 months sobriety under my belt thanks to alot of people. I feel like I have my life back!! Unfortunately my wife has not been a part of the transformation in my life. She is an amazing woman who is my soulmate and center of my universe. We have been married for almost ten years. I know that in the last ten years I have put her through literally hell. But she has always stood by me. I admire her for the love she showed me. I relapsed so many times in ten years and was in and out of every therapy for sex addiction we could find or pay for. I just wasn't ready. I tried and tried to quit but just couldn't. She would always stand by me and not tell any of her family in the hopes that I would recover and that if I did they would not judge me. Relapse after relapse she kept my dirty secret bottled inside with no one to support her. Finally this Time we decided to tell everyone about my addiction. So I then started on my path to recovery. Alone. She wanted nothing to do with it. So i plugged along knowing that I needed to do this for me. I thought my life was turning around and i finally had control! I was happy! But it was short lived. 3 weeks ago my wife decided that we should be separated. She says that the last ten years have been too much to handle And that she is too abused and lost. She has not said that she wants a divorce but that she needs to time and space to Find out who she is and if she can be with me. I so desperately want to help her work this out because I caused the problem. She will not let me in. We have 3 beautiful children together who I believe deserve us to stay together especially with me in recovery! I'm not sure what to do. I'm so lost but my resolve to stay clean has not weakened and I am so grateful for that. She keeps saying that she needs space which I am ok with but there is another man in the picture with her. She says that she does not love him and does not want be with him. He was visiting recently around the time she wanted the separation. She as admitted that they were "together" while he was here. She even said how Does it feel! :( she says again that she doesn't want either of us but I found txt msgs that speak to the contrary. I have been trying so hard for the last few weeks to show her that we can fix our marriage if she would only try too. The guy is coming back to visit his daughter that they have together In few weeks and I am a mess about it. He is visiting for a month! I'm not sure what to do. Any advice you guys can give? I'm feeling hopeless and want my wife and family back.

    1. Hello my friend!!! Thank you SO very much for reaching out! I am really glad to hear that you have found a program that works awesome for you and you have found the help that you needed to start living the life that you want to live. First, I just want to congratulate you on that … that's awesome!!!

      Ok, this is the hard part of recovery and healing. Sometimes, the path leads to this point … where the addict is feeling amazing and the partner is left with the shit that they are having a tough time moving forward from. It's like when the crap is flying you are in survival mode …. but once the shit gets cleaned up, it gives you a chance to re-evaluate your life and some women need this time to look at themselves and what it is that they want. It is a time where women also question their choices and decisions. And this is the part that you have no control over. The truth is that 6 months is amazing, YES, but to her it isn't a lot of time to heal the wounds that she has.

      The only thing you can do is to continue to show her that you are committed to long term recovery and changing your life. Continue to be there with no defensiveness, judgement or the panic energy that you are going to lose your family. Continue to do the right things and keep striving for creating that GREAT life for YOU. If she comes around that is awesome … and if she doesn't, well, I promise you will survive!

      Giving her compassion, space and showing her your strength is really all you can do … How are you kicking ass in other areas of your life? Here is an article that Craig wrote about what you need to do to create a great life, check this out … The Fundamental Five

      The most important thing is that you do not allow this to trigger you and bring negativity to your healing. It is part of the healing process …. your kids deserve happiness, yes, and your wife needs time to figure out what she wants with her life. But, in the end if you keep doing the things that create an amazing life …. you will be happy however things turn out.

      Good luck my friend and keep doing the great work that you are doing! I think it's great when guys reach out to me for support …. I really do!

  19. Hello mishka
    I am newly married. And about 6 months after we had gotten married I found out he was watching porn. Well soon I was to figure out how bad it really was. He would sneek and watch porn when I was at work and while I slept. Our sex loife changed we didn't have sex as often and when we did it was like it had no meaning as weird as that sounds. Just a big disconnecction. Then I found out he was going to strip clubs and I had caught him. Ii said I couldn't do it anymore. He said he would get help so I thought id try one last time. He hasn't been to one since but the porn. Is getting out of hand again. Matter of fact I just caught him watching it and hes jacking off to it.he got mad and told me to go to bed. He is also buying porn and I've found magazines all over the house. When he starts getting badly into it he starts attacking things about me. Like I need to lose weight and that's why he watches it. I'm not fat I admit I'm chubby but I've been this weight sinces he's met me 5 years ago. So I am losing weight but deep down I know its not me. But I can't help but to take it personally and think I'm not good enough or pretty enough for him. I'm losing my confidence but I'm trying hard not to. I really needed tto tell someone that's not judgmental. Any advice from anyone on what to do?

    1. Hi there my friend! Sorry it took me a while to get back to you!!! First, thank you for reaching out on here! I know it's hard and it's a journey that we didn't ask to be on ... but here it is and it becomes our journey. So, know I understand!

      I'm glad you know it's not about you. It is about him and of course when they are in their acting out phase (even if it is with porn and not real people) they are going to get defensive (much of the time) when caught. Once that defensiveness takes over they will pull out whatever they can think of to justify in their heads their actions. Instead of understanding that there is generally a lot of reasons for him acting out (and they lie within themselves). So, really try hard to know that he is the one that feels so shitty about himself ... he may project it onto you ... but it's really him feeling like shit about HIM.

      Which brings us to the next question .... has he gotten help? Is he working on himself? Generally the porn / sex becomes a symptom of something bigger that is going on within himself. It's a coping mechanism, and generally it's not the problem. It becomes the problem but there is so much more going on inside of him that needs to be addressed. So, the path is for him to do self-discovery work, admit he needs help and then create action around healing.

      What has he done there around help / healing? Is he willing to reach out for support? Do you guys talk about it at all? Or is it the big elephant in the room?

  20. Hi to all the beautiful women experiencing this ugly part of life. It's so sad and wonderful all at the same time to discover so many people going through this bizarre journey of our husband's shadows. Mine began just 4 weeks ago, when I found out that my husband has not only been looking at porn, having internet affairs, but also trading my own pornographic photos that we had taken together (thought it was a special part of our relationship) with people on the internet for pictures of other women. We have only been married a year and a half, together for 3 1/2. We have a 5 month old daughter and I have 3 boys from previous relationships. When I first discovered his secrets I felt like I was married to the devil! Everything that I had loved about him was instantly replaced with sickening hatred for this stranger. Within the next few days I went to everyone we knew, mutual friends, mutual co-workers, our boss (we share a very respectable job that should make us strive to be respectable people), and told them everything! I smeared his name so that he could experience the same shame he made me feel. After a few days of being a complete disaster, obsessing on his computer, hacking all of his accounts,crying for hours, not sleeping, not eating, losing weight, getting diarrhea, the whole lovely nine-yards i'm sure many of you have experienced too, I started doing research and realized what was actually happening. I learned about sex addiction. I can't even describe the relief that I had, like a spiritual reawakening. My anger, jealousy, sickness was suddenly gone and I felt forgiveness and love and the strong desire to help my husband. While I do not excuse his decisions, I certainly understand them so much better now. I know that as a result of an absolutely devastating childhood he has an illness that has disabled him from healthy love, sex, and life. I have stepped outside of our marriage and from a friend perspective have reached out to help him find recovery. It's easier from that perspective because my emotions are safe there, I don't take anything personal. However, as a wife I am still researching how to move forward, if I even want to. My husband has been truly remorseful of what he has done and wants to do everything he can to make it right. He is the nicest person you have ever met that 's why I know he is worth saving. I'm actually glad that it happened now and not later, not worse and not to anyone else. So far he is attending SAA meetings but it seems like he may even be the light for others already.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your journey! Sex addiction is a crazy roller coaster yes!!! It's nice to know that you are trying to support him and that's great. I did the same thing ... Craig was worth supporting too (he always says I saved his life). Just remember to focus on YOU too during this healing process. It's a great growth opportunity for you to grow as well. Hopefully, you can both get to the point where you support EACH OTHER ... that is an important piece of re-building your relationship.

      So, you ask how do you move forward? Do you even want to? Well, my advice is this ... how do you move forward is not an easy question to answer in an email ... it is a process, one that I work with my clients everyday on. I use many steps to help partners empower themselves that takes time. Moving forward can be a slow but great process. Remember, sometimes shitty experiences can lead to amazing change.

      But, I can tell you this ... you don't have to make any decision until you are ready. It's a great idea to take it day by day and see how he embraces his healing over time (over months), how he embraces his own healing and self-growth, how you begin working together as a team, how you communicate what you BOTH need. My point is this ... you can and should take the time you need to see how this healing brings you both to a place where you want to be or not. You are always free to make a different decision at any time in your life.

      I'm sending you a HUGE hug for all that you are going through and just know ... that for some, this experience can be a happy one in the end. Again, it doesn't happen like that for everyone .... but I find that the men who truly want to change and create a better life for themselves, CAN.

      Just don't forget about YOU in this journey. Take care of YOU. Stay involved in your hobbies, practice mindfulness, and all the other good stuff that goes along with nurturing you.

      Thanks again for reaching out on here!!!!! And I am really glad that your hubby is willing to get help!

  21. My husband;s deception and betrayal has just begun to be revealed. We are in counseling and have been for almost two years. The pain I am experiencing is overwhelming. I think I've spent most of this day staring at a blank wall, with no thoughts in my mind but just the feeling of being surrounded by a pain that is spilling out from somewhere very very deep. I am not ready to participate here...yet.. but I am commenting to at least gain a foot hold. I will be okay. I am strong. We have worked really hard to get to this point. But I just needed to begin to share. This hurts like hell.

    1. Hello there my friend!!! I know how hard it was for you to reach out and how BRAVE you were to comment here. Here is a HUGE hug for you. It is hard as hell ... you know, I've been there too ... and it hurts. But do know, that this crap storm can bring much needed change to everyone. Hopefully, your husband can use this time to embrace change and a new way of life and it IS a time where we can begin to do some of our own growth as well.

      Keep up the sharing because the truth is that there are so many people that are struggling right along with you. The key is to find messages out there that encourage strength and empowerment.

      Stay as positive as you can on this journey! You WILL be OK!

  22. I just found out about my husbands sex addiction. He got very angry with me because I went and told his best friend. I didn't know who to talk to to get help right away. I thought he could maybe talk to him and tell him he needs help. After a huge fight he left the next day for a business trip. He came back today and I have no clue what to do next. Do I wait till he wants to talk or do I start? I am in pain and lost.

  23. Hi Mishka,

    I follow your blog occasionally. I linked to it on a blog I've been putting together. (I hope you don't mind!) I'm the ex-wife of a sex addict. Our marriage did not survive, as he made no effort to be honest with me or to follow through on treatment. My journey has been one of how to survive not only the discovery of the sexual addiction, but the trauma of divorce. Your story/struggle is fascinating to me. I am rooting for you and your husband.

    I think it's important for women to know that it's okay NOT to be able to rescue a sick husband. Not all husbands will cooperate with treatment. So their recovery path might look different than yours.

    No woman should feel that she is responsible for her husband's sexual addiction, or that she is not a good person if she chooses to divorce.

    1. Thanks for keeping up with my blog. And yes, it's wonderful for you to link to it. Thank you!!! I'm sorry your marriage didn't work out. If he wasn't willing to do the work ... then it was time for you to take care of you!

      I 100% agree with you my friend! When I coach women that is a BIG part of what I teach. Every situation is different, every relationship is different, some men embrace recovery and some don't, some relationships heal and move on and some don't. Every women is entitled and SHOULD make their own decisions on what is right for them. There is not one right answer to this. Staying in my relationship was right for me but it isn't right for everyone.

      Thank you for rooting for us! We are great and we coach men and women all over the world now. We were able to use this shit storm to help others. SO, that has been an awesome journey!!