Guest Blog .... "What I Learned From Dating A Porn Addict With Bipolar Disorder"

The journey of healing from sex and porn addiction that Craig and I have been on has certainly been an interesting one. It has provided us with such amazing growth, awareness, presence, connection and a new passion to help others. It has led us to some amazing women, some amazing men and some amazing couples!!! I love how once Craig and I talk about what we do for a living (coaching men, women and couples to heal from this addiction) and openly tell people our story how people feel incredibly comfortable reaching out for support. I wanted to share this story from an AMAZING WOMAN, a friend of mine, who decided to write down her story, what she learned and share it with others. I am sooo proud of her and I know this blog needed to be shared ... THANK YOU my friend for putting yourself out there, it is so incredibly brave!!!

"What I Learned From Dating A Porn Addict With Bipolar Disorder"

If you’re reading this, thank you. I assume it is because you are either dealing with something similar, know someone in this situation, or frankly are just curious about my experiences; any of which are perfectly OK with me.

I decided to speak about my experiences because they matter. They matter because they happened to me and because I am a human being with feelings that need to be expressed. They also matter because too many men and women are going through this same thing and sometimes we just need to hear someone talk about an experience that we are all too familiar with, but sometimes are scared to say out loud. It’s important to talk about this in a way that doesn’t shame the addict, and doesn’t victimize the partner opposite of an addict.

Writing this is a healing process for me. The shock of my break-up and the reasons behind it are still very real and hard for me. I don’t aim to air my dirty laundry for pity, or cast negative light on someone I still love very much, but rather to hopefully inspire the motivation for change in others who might be struggling with a porn addiction.

Can YOU Feed Your Right Wolf?

Hi everyone! I am just going to start this blog with another, I can't believe how LONG it has been since I have spewed my words all over here! So, I'm sorry about that ... I know many of my AMAZING ladies out there really look for support and guidance and it is important to me to keep that up because we all know that I care and truly want to support this community ... even if it is just SENDING OUT A BIG HUG to you all!!! So, here is my HUG!!!!

One thing that has been keeping me busy is that Craig and I (or Ed if you only read about us on here) have become the official Recovery Coaches for the website Feed The Right Wolf. It is a wonderful and VERY popular resource for people struggling with sex or porn addiction and their partners.  

If you don't already know the story of what Feed The Right Wolf means, it's pretty motivating. Basically, it is an old Native American tale of a father who was talking to his son and explains that 2 wolves live inside of us .... one good and one bad. The boy asks his dad "which wolf wins". And the dad replies "The One You Feed".  

Free Webinar For Porn Addiction

Hello everyone!  Really cool day today, my amazing hubby is co-hosting a FREE webinar talking about porn addiction, understanding it and how to start making healthy choices.



I am really excited for him to have a place to help other men and hopefully inspire them to embrace their lives and start truly living it!!!!  I think it's a great resource to pass on to some partners who maybe need a little extra motivation, understanding of their porn problems or just to listen to 2 guys who have been there turned their lives around and saved their marriages!

How Do We Cope With The Insanity Of Betrayal?

Hello my AMAZING ladies out there! I have not been writing very much lately and I have felt really bummed about that. I'm sorry that it seemed that I have kind of dropped off my blog ... I have been doing a lot of work helping women and couples through this mess and it has been sooo rewarding! I get busy though and I have sooo missed this awesome place where I can just spew my verbal diarrhea ... and hopefully INSPIRE someone along the way!

SO, here is a GREAT question that one of my fabulous women asked me and I wanted to share my answer with you .... I think it is something that many women wonder and struggle with. So, maybe this can help a bit ...

Here is what she asked:   
How did u ever get through this? I don't think I can ... Why me?

This is such a commonly asked question and I think that so many of us ask this question to ourselves over and over and over until our minds are spinning out of control. It is a simple yet oh, so complex question. There is just no easy answer on how to get through this, or how to feel better.  This part truly sucks!  But here is how I got through it ... ... it was VERY hard and VERY painful and VERY sucky!!!! I wont sugar coat that part at all, that is the reality.  

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde Part 2

Wow, I haven't written anything in a LONG time!  It is amazing how the craziness of life, work and family creeps up on you and before you know it over 2 months have gone by without a single word from me!!!  I truly must stand up and give a HUGE applause & hug to all of the fabulous women out there who blog ALL THE TIME.  I just don't know how you do it!!!  I really am impressed and I just want to say that before I move forward with my verbal diarrhea!!!!

One issue that I have been seeing with many of the women that I work with in my coaching practice at Compulsion Solutions is around the idea of compartmentalizing. Both people see that concept VERY differently.  Many men see the compartmentalizing as that their minds were shut off and the acting out didn't mean anything to them ... it was just a physical thing, it wasn't really them - it was Mr. Hyde, not Dr. Jeckyl. But to us, to the partner, it sure meant something! It's a profound betrayal.  Ed & I actually did a podcast where we talk about that concept of the 2 sides .....   Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Sex Addiction.

I do understand how they "compartmentalize" their behaviors (that is how our addict hubby's are able to do what they do), and it is true to an extent, but it doesn't make us feel any better in the moment.  Those words don't comfort the wounds that are within us and in fact many men try to justify their behaviors that way ... and at times it can make us feel worse ... many women say it's like their whole life was a lie! To the guy, it was a different side to them .... but we don't think like that .... the addiction doesn't make sense to us so that doesn't make sense to us either. 

How Do You Feel About The Sex Addiction Label?

Good Morning Everyone!!!!  Some of you may know this but if you don't ... Ed and I have started a podcast on Spreaker , a little over a month ago.  It has been such a fun adventure for us.  We talk about our crazy, ridiculous journey through this world of sex addiction and recovery.  We are hoping for people to hear the real us .... the fun, silly, loving, bickering, fabulous, BRAVE, hurting, painful, hopeful and inspirational us!!!!!   

It is also a place where I am starting to become more comfortable with our REAL Names - but there is something that I love about Mishka & Ed  - our crazy, internet, FAKE names ..... I'm pretty attached to those - it's like a silly security blanket for me - LOL!!!!!

Our latest episode is on The Label of Sex Addiction - Is it REAL?  Is it a disease?  Or is it just an excuse for BAD behavior?